Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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