Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
