I got her a Nickelback box set.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We don't watch enough power rangers
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
