i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
