All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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