farters have to be the big spoon...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
