What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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