i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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