i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Enjoy the penises
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
