Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
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