I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
