TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
