so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
