I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
