the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
