drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
