dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
