A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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