why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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