Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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