I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She announced her abortion via fbk
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Randomize
