Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
