...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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