i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He did a backflip because drugs
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
