I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
