I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
