i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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