it wasn't lemon gatorade
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
