All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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