How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
