Tell her she can't have a vagina
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
