Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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