You're so nebulous sometimes
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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