It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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