So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Randomize