He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
