These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
