We won't sleep together?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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