Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
