im holly from the hills drunk
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
