happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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