hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize