I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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