Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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