you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
