listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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