I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
