1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
