I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Are my feet made of real feet?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
