At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
