Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
