she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
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