I'm pants shitting drunk right now
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
