I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
