i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
