she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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