Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
what the fuck happened to the tacos
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
