Where is the hickey?
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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