Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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