He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
All the doctor said was why
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
