Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize