cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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