she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
