Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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