You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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